As I have made it the 2 year mark I must confess it's been harder than the first year.
A lot of of my firends and family who have lost loved ones reminded me that year 2 is harder than year 1 and I remenbered saying to my self in my mind: "I doubt it. Nothing can be harder than the first." I realized I was wrong and here is why I say this.
The first year is still so fresh and our cognitive functions are still wired in a "fight or flight" mode for most of the time. That when year 2 comes along you start remembering where you were physically and emotionally during that time and the year before. This is totally normal and a part of the grieving journey, trauma and sudden loss.
From my research and experience throughout those 2 years I have found that there's really no rule on how you honor your lost loved one.
I suggest you to try this exercise:
sit down on a confortable position
place your hands over your heart
close your eyes
Take 3 deep breaths
Now focus on what would make you happy when thinking of honoring your loved one.
Here are a few suggestions of what you can do, remember there's no right or wrong.
You can visit their favorite spot.
Eat or cook their favorite meal.
Gather with friends and talk for hours about how amazing that human was for you all.
Making a donation on their honor to a non-profit they would have loved.
Sitting in total solutitde if that sounds peaceful. (I did that this year, and it was so profund for me). Since I am a single mother, I only spoke to her. And my immediate family/friends only through text.
Go do something nice for yourself. We wids have a hard time adjusting to that. I secretly wanted to go away byself this year to a cute airbnb somewhere and just journal. Perhaps in the near future.
I hope you find this helpful and please share with your loved ones too.
We are not alone!
With love,
Manoela
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